[Lyrics & Translation] ReoNa – Zetsubou Nenpyou (絶望年表)

ReoNa – Zetsubou Nenpyou Lyrics & English Translation
Song Lyrics ReoNa – Zetsubou Nenpyou with English Translation
Information:

Artist: ReoNa
Song title: Zetsubou Nenpyou (絶望年表)
Song title translation: Chronicle of Despair
Release date: 7 October 2020
Lyricists: Kegani (LIVE LAB.) (毛蟹(LIVE LAB.)) ; Kei Hayashi (LIVE LAB.) (ハヤシケイ(LIVE LAB.))
Composers: Kegani (LIVE LAB.) (毛蟹(LIVE LAB.)) ; Kei Hayashi (LIVE LAB.) (ハヤシケイ(LIVE LAB.))
Arrangers: Kegani (毛蟹) ; Kei Hayashi (ハヤシケイ) ; Sachiko Miyano (宮野幸子)
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Romaji / Romanization / Transliteration

Kenzen na karada ni kenzen na kokoro ga yadoru no nara
Fukanzen na manma de umarete kita watashi no karada wa
Donna kokoro wo yadosu no darou

Na wa tai wo arawasu to iu no ga hontou da to shitara
Yuuki aru kemono no namae wo sazukatta hazu na no ni na
Dou shite konna ni okubyou nan darou

Papa ga watashi wo butsu no wa kitto zenbu ai deshita
Mama ga watashi wo minai no mo kitto kitto zenbu ai deshita
Dakara watashi wa itsu demo shiawase na kodomo deshita
Fukou ni kizukanai koto wa shiawase deshita

Inochi wa ai no kesshou desu
Somatsu ni shite wa ikemasen
Tadashiku hibiku shukufuku no kotoba
Sore na no ni nandaka kurushii na

Chigau sugata ni akogarete chigau sugata ni kikazaru tabi ni
Kawarenai koto ni kizuite shimau dake
Koko janai basho wo sagashite koko janai dokoka nozoku tabi ni
Doko ni mo ikenai koto ni kizuku dake

Hourisuterareta randoseru to chirabatta kyoukasho
Watashi mo tobioritara anna fuu ni barabara ni naru no ka na
Taisetsu na mono wa haittenai shi

Gakkou wa kirai dakedo suki na basho ga aru wake janai
Ouchi no naka wa kirai namae no nai dokoka no dareka ni
Naritakatta naritakatta

Tomodachi mo sukoshi dekita yo sou janai hito mo fueta yo
Suki na hito wa sukunai yo hotondo hoka wa kirai da yo
Yasashii hito wa ooi yo dakedo minna uso wo tsuiteru yo
Watashi ga kirai na watashi dake kawaranai mama

Warui koto bakari oboete
Tekubi kiru no ni sae akite
Sore demo ugoku shinzou wa fushigi da
Daremo tanondari nanka shinai no ni

Chigau sugata ni akogarete chigau sugata ni kikazaru tabi ni
Kawarenai koto ni kizuite shimau dake
Koko janai basho wo sagashite koko janai dokoka nozoku tabi ni
Doko ni mo ikenai koto ni kizuku dake

Tada futsuu de itakute
Atarimae de itakute
Hoshii mono nante nakute
Shitai koto datte nakute

Kanawanai kono negai no
Munashii kono kimochi no
Soba ni itsu demo atta
Senritsu to kotoba ga atta

Amaku sasayaku you ni
Hageshiku wameku you ni
Nanimo sukuwarenakutemo
Tada soko ni atta

Moshimo yurusareru no nara
Moshimo yurusareru no nara

Na mo naki doushi yorisotte
Nemuri ni tsuita katakonbe
Shizuka ni hibiku rekuiemu no you na
Yasashii uta wo utaitai

Chigau sugata ni akogarete chigau sugata ni kikazaru tabi ni
Kawaranai mono ni kizuite kitan da yo
Dareka no kizu wo iyaseru to ka dareka no yami wo haraeru to ka
Daisoreta koto nante iwanai yo
Itami ga sukoshi osamaru made kurayami ni sukoshi nareru made
Sore made soba ni irareru gurai de ii yo

Hiragana / Katana / Kanji

健全な体に 健全な心が宿るのなら
不完全なまんまで産まれてきた私の身体は
どんな心を 宿すのだろう

名は体を表すというのが本当だとしたら
勇気ある獣の名前を授かったはずなのにな
どうしてこんなに 臆病なんだろう

パパが私をぶつのは きっと 全部 愛でした
ママが私を見ないのも きっと きっと全部 愛でした
だから私はいつでも 幸せな子どもでした
不幸に気づかないことは 幸せでした

命は愛の結晶です
粗末にしてはいけません
正しく響く祝福の言葉
それなのになんだか苦しいな

違う姿に憧れて 違う姿に着飾るたびに
変われないことに気づいてしまうだけ
ここじゃない場所を探して ここじゃないどこか覗くたびに
どこにもいけないことに気づくだけ

放り捨てられたランドセルと散らばった教科書
私も飛び降りたら あんな風にバラバラになるのかな
大切なものは 入ってないし

学校は嫌い だけど好きな場所があるわけじゃない
お家の中は嫌い 名前のないどこかの誰かに
なりたかった なりたかった

友だちも少しできたよ そうじゃない人も増えたよ
好きな人は少ないよ ほとんど他は嫌いだよ
優しい人は多いよ だけどみんな嘘をついてるよ
私が嫌いな私だけ変わらないまま

悪いことばかり覚えて
手首切るのにさえ飽きて
それでも動く心臓は不思議だ
誰も頼んだりなんかしないのに

違う姿に憧れて 違う姿に着飾るたびに
変われないことに気づいてしまうだけ
ここじゃない場所を探して ここじゃないどこか覗くたびに
どこにもいけないことに気づくだけ

ただ普通でいたくて
当たり前でいたくて
欲しい物なんてなくて
したいことだってなくて

叶わないこの願いの
虚しいこの気持ちの
そばにいつでもあった
旋律と言葉があった

甘く囁くように
激しく喚くように
何も救われなくても
ただそこにあった

もしも許されるのなら
もしも許されるのなら

名もなき同士寄り添って
眠りについたカタコンベ
静かに響くレクイエムのような
優しい歌を歌いたい

違う姿に憧れて 違う姿に着飾るたびに
変わらないものに気づいてきたんだよ
誰かの傷を癒せるとか 誰かの闇を払えるとか
大それたことなんて言わないよ
痛みが少し治まるまで 暗闇に少し慣れるまで
それまで そばにいられるぐらいでいいよ

English Translation

If a sound body harbors a sound mind
Then what kind of soul could dwell
In this incomplete body I was born into?

If names truly reflect their bearer
Shouldn't I have been given the name of a brave beast?
Yet why am I so afraid of everything?

When dad hit me, it was surely all love
When mom ignored me, it was surely, surely all love
That's why I was always a happy child
Not noticing unhappiness that was happiness

Life is a crystal of love
You must not take it lightly
Such noble, righteous words of blessing
Yet somehow, they feel suffocating

Longing for a different form, adorning myself in those imagined form
I only realize I can never change
Searching for somewhere else to belong, peering into places I do not know
I only realize there is nowhere I can go

A discarded school bag, scattered textbooks
If I were to jump, would I fall apart like that too?
There's nothing important inside anyway

I hate school, but there's no place I like
I hate home, but I wanted to be someone without a name
Someone else entirely

I made a few friends, but gained even more who aren't
The ones I love are few, I dislike almost everyone else
There are many kind people, but they're all lying
The me I hate stays unchanged, unchanging

Learning only bad things
Even cutting my wrists has become dull
Yet this heart of mine keeps beating, it's strange
No one ever asked it to

Longing for a different form, adorning myself in those imagined form
I only realize I can never change
Searching for somewhere else to belong, peering into places I do not know
I only realize there is nowhere I can go

I just wanted to be ordinary
To be normal
Without wanting anything
Without desiring to do anything

This unattainable wish
This hollow feeling
Always stayed close by
With melodies and words

Whispering sweetly
Screaming fiercely
Even if nothing was ever saved
They were simply there

If it could be allowed
If it could be forgiven

Nameless souls nestled together
Drifting into sleep in a catacomb
Like a softly echoing requiem
I want to sing a gentle song

Longing for a different form, adorning myself in those imagined form
I've come to see what never changes
I can't claim to heal someone's wounds or dispel someone's darkness
I'd never dare say such things
But if I could stay, just until the pain eases a little until the darkness becomes a little more bearable
Just for that long, that would be enough

Perseverantia vincit et semper ad meliora.

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